Really, I'm Working

So I'm sitting at my desk doing work right now, and this song from our iTunes collection comes on



It's hard to focus or take anything seriously with this type of music in the background, but these guys are funny. I have a Go To Meeting - gotta run

Racing to September

It's official: James will no longer have a paid job after tomorrow.

I would say he will not be working after tomorrow, but I know that is not true. In fact, I am afraid he will be working even more. He just won't get a paycheck for it. Many months ago, when we found out we were expecting #4, we knew we had to do something. We had a lot to consider when we were working through the details of 'what are we going to do?', but ultimately, the decision was simple - James needed to stay home with the kids.

We made this decision back in February, and we really have not looked back. I give him a lot of credit because I know a lot of men would not be willing or capable of successfully staying home with their kids full-time. Despite my confidence in his abilities, I am a little nervous about how we will all handle the change. We are keeping an open mind, so we will see how it goes for us.

As James's workload (professional workload, that is) is ramping down, mine is ramping WAY up. For the past 2 years or so, we have been evaluating financial and project management software with a plan to transition as soon as we found a solution that could meet our demands. Well, we found one, and guess who gets to implement it? That's right. I have known about this for a long time, but I guess I never thought I would be expecting a baby when it came time to do the implementation.

If you've worked in a business environment and been through a major software change, then you might know how involved the process can be. Most implementations of the type we are doing average 6 to 9 months from purchase to 'go live', and we must do it in four (including the one month that's already passed). The good news is that I'm pretty good with data manipulation, conversion, and managing change. The bad news is that I have no flexibility on our target implementation date. So far, I am on target, but I will be counting on James BIG TIME to help me meet deadlines.

I know he'll pull through for me. He always has. He is the reliable one in this marriage, so I am glad our kids will have him full-time. Wish us luck though, 'cause I think we're going to need it.

No Time

If you can believe it, I just finished up some work. Although working late at night has been rare while I've been pregnant, I used to be up at least one night a week until the wee hours working on some spreadsheet or another. The strange part is that I don't hate it. I will, however, hate getting up in a few hours.

I have been wanting to post an update of the kids since that's why I started this blog after all, but between, work, pregnancy, and the kids I don't know how anyone can find the time.

Without selling them too short, let me try to get this done in 5 minutes.

Jameson manages to make James and I laugh about something he does or says every day. He is full of words, and he says a lot of unexpected things. When I went to pick him up from school today, I looked in and saw him talking to one of the little girls, very involved in whatever he was telling her. Later tonight when I was giving him his bedtime snack, I asked him what he was talking to her about. He responds without diverting his attention from his cartoon, "I told her how I went swimming and drowned.". That was it - no more explanation. I laughed at his unexpected response, but I'm not sure why I was surprised. He is a lot of fun, and I love to see how he is a bit of his dad and a bit of me - makes for a funny combination.

Miss Amelia is Jameson-in-training. Interestingly, she is also full of words, although many of them incomprehensible at this point. Every morning she wakes up with usual call, "Dada, Dada, Dadaaaaa", and I think it helps James get out of bed when I tell him it's time to get up and get the babies. She is saying a handful of words, but she is great with communicating with hand signals and looks. She has a really expressive face, and she demands a lot of attention. I know I am going to have my hands full with this one, but the good thing is that she is going to tell me what she needs early. She is very affectionate, especially with her brothers and loves to give hugs and kisses.

Truman is developing a stronger personality lately, throwing fits when you try to feed him as he insists on feeding himself. He doesn't try to talk as much as Amelia, but he does have his own way of communicating. One day, we will have to record some of his "talk" since it's nothing like how Jameson and Amelia (so far) started to communicate. He is very sweet, loving, and ridiculously strong. He has been climbing everything in sight for months. I can barely carry him since he knows exactly how to twist his body when he wants to be put down. Considering that his head probably weights a good 5 lbs., he's not exactly easy to control. He is very mechanically-inclined that my dad might just get that engineer he's hope to get. He loves books, and he will study them for a long time, but he loves food and naptime even more. His temperament is like his dad's, which is both a good and bad thing. He is so laid-back most of the time, but he will, rarely, have an unexpected outburst for some unknown reason. Then I'm stuck trying to figure out if he's sick, or if he's just angry or frustrated. It's hard to tell since he doesn't do it very often.

I have a handful of pictures/videos from this weekend that I will sift through and post over the weekend, but we are having lots of fun with our kiddos. They are exhausting, and many days I think I may lose my mind. Those moments always pass though, and somehow it's so much easier to remember the good moments. It's easily been more than 10 minutes now, so I better get some sleep if I'm actually going to show up at work tomorrow.

Work For It, Damn It!

Driving home from work yesterday, I saw a truck for a rent-to-own furniture store, and on the side was written, 'because everyone deserves nice things'. At the time, I didn't give it much thought other than noting that companies with mottos like that are just what our entitlement culture needs.

The thought came back to me tonight while doing dishes because I had read a blog earlier about socializing health care. I thought, 'Is there no limit to what we expect the government to provide for us?' What is the lesson here for my children (since this is a blog about family)? Something like 'Hey, don't worry about working hard because the government is going to take care of you'. I don't subscribe to this idea, and I want to raise children that believe in the power of freedom and self-reliance.

As I thought some more, while loading and unloading the dishwasher for the 2nd time today, the movie The Pursuit of Happyness came to mind because I remembered something that had really struck me when I watched it. I remember that Will Smith's character (Chris Gardner), during one of his struggles between poverty and homelessness thinks of Thomas Jefferson. According to the IMDB, the dialogue goes like this:

It was right then that I started thinking about Thomas Jefferson on the Declaration of Independence and the part about our right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. And I remember thinking how did he know to put the pursuit part in there? That maybe happiness is something that we can only pursue and maybe we can actually never have it. No matter what. How did he know that?

At his wits' end, Will Smith's character begins to doubt he will ever find happiness. What I love about the movie - he perseveres! Despite all the difficulties he has faced, he doesn't just give up and expect the government to take care of him, instead, he uses his unhappiness with his current situation as motivation to work his way out of it. I know, it's just a movie, but if you listen to the real Chris Gardner on YouTube, his life was, in fact, worse than the movie portrayed.

Having the freedom to pursue happiness - that is truly freedom. Our freedom and entrepreneurial spirit is part of what makes me feel blessed that I get to raise my children in this country. I hope they will never think they deserve something because others have it. I want them to grow up firmly believing they are masters of their own destiny.

I'm Hiding

James just left for New York, and he left me with 2 fussy babies.  They are all normally asleep at this time in the morning, but today they decided to wake up and cry.  I have been rocking and trying to calm them for 45 minutes or so.  I just gave up, and I came out here to get away from the crying.

Bedtime is the one time of the day that Truman really struggles unless he's sleeping with me.  He's in his swing, and calling for me.  It's hard not to pick him up, but it's also tiresome to always give in and let him have his way.  I'm giving him some time to try to fall asleep on his own, but in 10 more minutes I'll probably just give up.  Should I feel sorry for James when he comes home telling me how tired his is and that he needs a nap?  This is the sob story he told me after his last "business" trip.  You can imagine that I didn't really have much sympathy for how tired he was after he got to sleep in a quiet hotel room.

I hope you have fun out there, but come home well-rested.

Hardest Job in the World

I am convinced that being a mom is the hardest, but most rewarding job in the world.  I am sure many would disagree with me.  You're entitled to your opinion, but read on if you want to get an idea what it's like to be a mom from my perspective.

You should consider that being a mom is not a full-time job.  I had one of those, and it's only about 40 hours.  Whatever I could not finish by Friday, I could leave for the following Monday, usually.  When you're a mom, the bedtime stories, dirty diapers, and hungry babies just can't wait until next week.  Sometimes, I wish they could, but as soon as I think about the alternative, I am always happy to get back to work.

Some days I feel like a successful mom, and other days I feel like a complete failure.  Lately, I have felt more like a failure than a success.  It's a daily struggle to make it through a day with a two-year old that likes to throw a lot of tantrums. "Don't do that!", "Stop it!", "I'm counting to 3", "Didn't I tell you . . . ", "Sit down!", "Be gentle with the babies", and "Cut it out!" seem to be all that comes out of my mouth some days.  At the end of the day, when I stare at a beautiful baby sleeping peacefully in bed, I beat myself up about my impatience.  I promise that tomorrow I will try to reason with him instead of being so hard on him.  He is, after all, just 2.

Sometimes everybody is hungry - all at once.  I try to determine who is hungriest based on the how loud his/she is crying or the how many times I'm asked for candy.  Bottle feeding the twins wouldn't seem so bad during these times, but I have picky eaters, of course.  My 2 year-old likes to think he's ordering a la carte at his favorite restaurant, making demands like, "I want pancakes, bacon, and juice."  I try to convince him that eggs, oatmeal, or cereal are a better alternative.  Sometimes he cooperates.  Sometimes I give in.  Usually, he nibbles at whatever I have served him, and I spend the next half hour convincing him to do a puzzle so I can get a decent amount of food into him.

Many days, I have help.  Thank God!  Some days I don't.  The days I don't someone usually throws up or comes down with the latest cold making its way around.  I make big plans for these days like 'I'm gonna get all the laundry done, and when the kids take a nap, I'll do all the filing.'.  I have yet to catch up on laundry, and my filing is still sitting in stacks on the desk.

I haven't slept through the night since March of 2007.  My tiny human alarm clocks don't skip meals, especially not at night.  I'm usually too tired to move them back to their beds, so most mornings I wake up with a baby on each side of me.   And . . . if I dare sleep past 8 a.m., Jameson is on the floor of my bedroom throwing a tantrum because "it's wake-up time", and he wants to go downstairs.

Showering alone has become a luxury.  By the time I get to shower, there's a baby due for a shower also.  Occasionally, there's 3 babies due for showers.  Baths are a rare occurrence here.  There simply isn't time every night for 3 baths.

I know.  I sound like an ingrate, but remember that I said 'hardest, but most rewarding'.  At the end of the day, it's all worth it to watch 3 beautiful babies sleeping peacefully, even if it means that I still need to do some laundry and wash dishes.

I know I'm late on this one, but do you really expect me to be on time?  If you're a mom and you can relate to my own experience, pat yourself on the back.  You're doing the best you can.  Happy Belated Mother's Day.

The Stay-At-Home Mom

Here I am with a 2-year-old and 9 week old twins, and I am wondering where the time has gone.  Thinking back on how our lives have changed over the last year, I realized that having my first child was great.  Nonetheless, it was like the honeymoon of motherhood.  That is to say that motherhood is really a completely different experience once you have more than one child.

Some of the things I don't get to do anymore . . .

1. Nap when the babies nap.  However, there is the rare occasion when they ALL sleep, and I thank God for those moments.
2. Eat breakfast before 10 a.m.  There are days when I am up between 4 and 6 a.m., and I just go ahead and eat simply because I know I might not have the opportunity again until noon.
3. Go out anywhere with just me and the kids.  How exactly do you carry 2 infants and still supervise your 2-year-old in any type of store?  Yeah, that's what I'm still trying to figure out.
4. Stay out anywhere past 10 p.m., and THAT's pushing it.  James and I have done that once to celebrate his birthday, but I don't think my mom is going to fall for that one again anytime soon.
5. Drive a car smaller than a mini-van.
6. Feel caught up on my chores.
7. Change less than 10 diapers a day.  It's time to potty train JJ.

I could go on, but I won't because I take far more joy in the whole new set of things that I DO get to do now.

1. I get to sleep with my kids.  There is nothing more peaceful in life than sleeping with your children.
2. I get to help shape three little lives.
3. See how much JJ loves "my babies", as he calls them.  I love to hear JJ walk out of his bedroom to come wake me up and ask to see his babies every morning.
4. Gain a renewed sense of appreciation for all parents.  No matter what your approach may be, it's not easy, but it's extremely rewarding.
5. I have 3 great excuses for not getting everything done.  I hate to have a huge list of to-do's, but I would hate far more to look back and wish I had spent more time with my kids.
6. Learn something new from or about my children every day.  Each day there is something new with children, as anyone who is a parent will tell you.
7. I get to be "Mom".  There's something really comforting about feeling needed.

I suppose what I am getting at is that life is harder now in many ways, but I would not trade it for simpler days.  Simplicity has it merits, but when it comes to family life, I prefer it be complicated and crazy, but full.

The Boss's Rant

I'm going to do it today. . . write about work. I have tried to avoid doing it, but every now and then I need an outlet to vent about work frustrations that I am sure most people can relate to in one way or another.

I run an accounting department, and we are in the middle of closing our fiscal year. I have really bad timing with pregnancies because I have been out of the office for 2 of our last 3 fiscal year ends. When you are in charge of all of the work that is produced at this important time of year, it's a lot harder to be out of the office. In addition to having a lot of "accounting" work at this time of year, we (like most companies) have lot of year-end issues to deal with that produces a lot of work for me since I am involved in a lot of the decision-making.

It should go without saying then that over the last 8 years of working in an office and the last 5 years of running a department and helping to run a company, I have seen and dealt with a lot of different employees and learned a lot about people's work habits. Below is my list of office pet peeves about workers and working conditions from a boss's perspective. If you have ever worked in an office, you will at least be able to relate to most of these . . . and maybe even learn something about your boss.

1. IF YOU ARE OFF-TASK, YOUR BOSS USUALLY KNOWS ABOUT IT.
Whether or not you work on a computer, your body language and your work output normally tell your boss when you are off-task. My favorite employee tactic is the last second attempt to cover up the non-work papers on your desk by quickly sliding other papers on top of them to cover them up. Don't do this. It's obvious you're not on-task. I also enjoy the quick click off the website where you're looking up news, sports scores, or other non-work related information. What most workers don't think about or realize is that your productivity is directly related to the profitability of your company. When you waste time, you're wasting your own money.

2. TRYING TO ENSURE YOUR JOB SECURITY BY KEEPING WORK TASK INFORMATION TO YOURSELF DOES NOT REALLY IMPROVE YOUR JOB'S SECURITY.
I can think of countless examples when employees really thought that not sharing work information such as passwords or job task procedures with other co-workers would improve their job security. In my opinion, this tactic just makes workers look incompetent and insecure. I value most my employees that can teach ME and their co-workers something new rather than those that try to guard information.

3. YES, EVERY COMPANY HAS SOME INCOMPETENT MANAGERS.
How incompetent workers ever become managers is beyond me, but I am certain this is the case somewhere in just about every company. What's worse is that incompetent managers breed incompetent workers. I work at an engineering company, so many of the managers were mostly engineers or designers before becoming managers. Many have no other business background, and many times it shows in their management style. I don't have an extensive business background, but I have a good understanding of business operations. When I don't know enough about a certain aspect of management, I seek out references to learn more about it. I think this is part of trying to be a good manager. Unfortunately, too many managers are complacent about their management skills and make no effort to improve them.

4. IF YOU'RE NOT A GOOD WORKER, YOU'RE PROBABLY NOT GOING TO BE A GOOD ENTREPRENEUR.
It always strikes me as interesting how naive people can be about what it take to run a company. Employees always have opinions about how a company should be run or about how they would run their company differently, but most don't really know all of the issues you have to deal with when you are a business owner. Usually, you find it's your worst employees that have the most opinions but never really do anything about the problem. The best employees do their best to do something about it rather than just continually complaining about the problem.

5. COMPLACENT WORKERS ARE BAD WORKERS.
Employees that adopt the attitude that doing what they do everyday without ever making an effort to expand their horizons or improve their methods are, in my opinion, equivalent to lazy workers. So many employees are so scared of change that they never venture outside their small comfort zone. Resisting change is a disease of the American workforce. If we embraced change and chose to tackle problems head on, we would all work for better companies.

6. I WISH ALL WORKERS "GOT IT".
I can't tell you exactly what separates workers that "get it" from workers that don't (experience, intelligence, effort, skills, ability to learn quickly, probably a little bit of everything), but every boss wants the worker that "gets it". There's nothing more frustrating than teaching an employee how to do something, having them tell you they understand, and coming back later to realize they don't "get it". What's worse? Sometimes they don't even realize they don't get it.


I could go on, but I don't want to bore anyone that might be reading this anymore than necessary. I know how I must sound. . . typical boss . . . thinks she knows everything. . . undervalues her employees. Truth is, I think I have pretty good employees. They have their faults but so does every worker, including me. Remember, I work in an office, so I see the behaviors of a lot of workers, not just those that work for me. Being home on bed rest is an especially frustrating way to manage anything is you're a hands-on manager, so I just needed a moment to vent my frustrations. I know I still have a lot to learn, but I am always trying to learn from my mistakes and the mistakes of those around me.